The Five Stages of Back Pain
Having gone through the cycle of back pain many times, I felt like posting this handy chart to aid in discussion:
| Stage | Pain | Phrase | Response | Activities |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 0 | none | “woohoo” | charge around | anything |
| 1 | tweaks a bit | “oh” | stretches and strength exercises | careful lifting |
| 2 | twinges more often | “hm” | stretches, careful strength exercises, maybe ibuprofen | no lifting or bending |
| 3 | angrier twinges, aches most of the time | “not this again” | careful stretches, ibuprofen | no smiling or fast movement |
| 4 | constant ache and some stabbing | “oh no” | ibuprofen, cyclobenzaprene | no facial expression or unnecessary movement |
| 5 | strong pain whenever vertical and often when horizontal | “holy sh*t” | above + narcotics | lie and grimace |
Fortunately, none of these last forever. Unfortunately, that includes Stage 0.
When are we going to get artificial discs? I’d like a whole new spine, please.