The Five Stages of Back Pain
Having gone through the cycle of back pain many times, I felt like posting this handy chart to aid in discussion:
|1||tweaks a bit||“oh”||stretches and strength exercises||careful lifting|
|2||twinges more often||“hm”||stretches, careful strength exercises, maybe ibuprofen||no lifting or bending|
|3||angrier twinges, aches most of the time||“not this again”||careful stretches, ibuprofen||no smiling or fast movement|
|4||constant ache and some stabbing||“oh no”||ibuprofen, cyclobenzaprene||no facial expression or unnecessary movement|
|5||strong pain whenever vertical and often when horizontal||“holy sh*t”||above + narcotics||lie and grimace|
Fortunately, none of these last forever. Unfortunately, that includes Stage 0.
When are we going to get artificial discs? I’d like a whole new spine, please.