clara's blog

Penguin grammar

Submitted by clara on November 7, 2008 - 9:55pm

Clara: Mom, me and Happy Feet were…

Mom (interrupts): Happy Feet and I…

Clara: No, Mom, I said Happy Feet and me.

Mom: Yes, but the way you say it is “Happy Feet and I.”

Clara: But Mom, it was me and Happy Feet!

Dad: Mom is telling you that the way that grown-ups say it is to say “I” instead of “me.”

Mom: Yeah, cause you wouldn’t say “me go to the store,” you would say “I go to the store.”

(pause)

Clara: Mom, Happy Feet and I …

Dinosaur book

Submitted by clara on November 7, 2008 - 11:26am

[Clara is looking at a dinosaur book.]

Clara: I know what this says: “Rocky… Records. How… do we… k-now? kunnou?

Timothy: ‘Know.’ That’s a weird one - a silent K that makes the O say its name.

C: “How do we know… what dinosaurs… looked… like?” On this page there’s the skeletons. I think this skeleton is from this dinosaur. See, Dad?” read more...

Broken bowl

Submitted by clara on July 12, 2008 - 9:52pm

[Clara is in the living room watching a movie. Mom and Dad are in the family room. They hear a crash. Coming to investigate, they find a ceramic bowl shattered on the floor and Clara standing near it.]

Dad: What happened? [pauses the movie]

Clara: The bowl fell and broke.

D: What did it have in it? read more...

Damn door

Submitted by clara on June 16, 2008 - 8:17pm

[Katherine and Clara return home at the end of the school day.]

K: Oh, good - John took the sheetrock away! Hey - let’s see if he took the door!

[they go to the storage room]

K: He didn’t take the damn door.

C: What damn door? Where’s the damn door?

K: That door right there.

C: That’s a damn door?

K: Yup… that’s the door.

C: What’s a damn door?

K: Uh… This is just a door.

Not Pants

Submitted by clara on November 17, 2007 - 12:12pm
Leggings3

[Clara has gone to school in a nice new outfit. Mom picks her up.]

Mom: How’d that new outfit work out?

Clara: I like it.

Mom: How do those new pants feel?

Clara: Mom: they’re not pants.

Mom: Uh… what are they?

Clara: They’re leggings.

Mild cheddar

Submitted by clara on July 7, 2007 - 12:00pm

K: “I’m making eggs. Clara, do you want some?”

C: “Yes.”

T: “Could I put my name in for some too?”

K: “Sure. Do you want cheese on yours?”

T: “Yeah. What cheese do we have?”

K: “I’m having mild cheddar.”

T: “Sounds good.”

C: “I want your old cheddar too!”

A little fancy

Submitted by clara on May 26, 2007 - 10:10am

[Clara is sick. Timothy wakes her up at night to give her medicine. She never fully awakens. But she says one last thing before closing her eyes.]

Clara: Dad?

Timothy: Yeah.

C: I put that… purple ribbon… on the… doorknob… so it’d be… little fancy.

T: Ah! I see.

C: [snore]

Winnie The Mondegreen

Submitted by clara on February 28, 2007 - 9:34pm

[Timothy and Katherine are discussing the next Star Trek movie, which is entering preproduction.]

Clara: Dad?

T: Yes?

C: I’m puzzled. read more...

Preschool proof

Submitted by clara on February 14, 2007 - 4:53pm

The three-year-old logical process:

  1. According to Thomas The Tank Engine, trains have “drivers.”

  2. According to Busytown, trains have “engineers.” read more...

Front page above the fold again

Submitted by clara on January 18, 2007 - 11:41am

The local paper doesn’t keep their archives available very long, but here it is.

Second time in three years! Small town, I guess.